Self discovery seems a lifelong endeavour, and perhaps it should be so. We are certainly not the same person when we were children, how ever many years ago that was.
The two images shown on this page are the first of a series that explores this.
'Wild Ones'
This a a depiction of a dream i had a couple of months ago. About my automatic reaction to noise or a need to tame things back into their proper place.
I think this comes from endless nights being awaken by a family of foxes in my neighbours garden when I used to live in Walthamstow in London.
This scenario was dreamt in Devon. The foxes replaced by feral dogs that wanted to be undomesticated.
I think this says more about my mindset than about dogs. The angry man in his boxers is myself wanting to control the world as I think it should be... everything in its (un)natural order, the lawns neatly mowed , those porcelain dogs placed as desired on a mantlepiece (reference to Larkins poem 'Home is so sad'.) ... life designed by will and design... not as I find it.
I believe this dream is about letting go of any automatic presumptions i have of how the world should be, from a human perspective and being more tuned into my own nature - as the dogs wish to be, which, independent of humans, have there own nature and inclination to behaviour that is not man-made or manipulated.
Oil and acrylic on canvas 90 x 90cm.
'This is not it'
I have only a few photos from my childhood, maybe no more than three! My intention is to create a memory album (as opposed a photo album) that translates my memories from childhood – how i perceived the world then, family life, my sense of belonging and sense of self.
I consider my life has been, like many I presume, an ordinary life with extraordinary and serendipitous moments that have steered my journey through life and provided teachers along the way in the guise of friends, lovers, strangers...good or bad.
Oil and acrylic on canvas 90 x 90cm.
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